The CALM/kä(l)m/

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The CALM/kä(l)m/

This Season has been Different
This Year has been strange
I’ve found myself in some Places I never thought I’d See
I even Found myself Compromising me
I Lost some relationships and Gained a Few
You know out with the Old in with The New
But something in My heart doesn’t Feel the same
I find myself Feeling Alone and ashamed
How did I get Here?
What Steps did I take?
How did I Get to this Place?
I Use to Be So sure
I Use to Be Awake
But now my Heart is timid and my Mind is a constant Headache
But I Won’t give Up
And neither should You
Things happen for Change to Shine through
Someone once said being Broken isn’t a Bad thing
Because when your Empty
You allow GOD to Come In and meet Every Need
I’m in this Place now
But I know I won’t be here long : )
I may be Broken but my Faith is keeping me Strong

-FCIS

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SHE/SHē/

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SHE/SHē/

She’s Witty and gritty

Never one in the Same

You may forget Her scent

But you will Never forget her Name

She Moves to a Beat only She can hear

You can Travel the light-years

Trying to Figure out her Fears

But her Tears Melt when it rains

And the Sunshine is her claim to Fame

She is insidious

And critically Acclaimed

She Always knows when it’s Time to leave

Her Feathers change at the calm of a Breeze

Who is She you ask

Only the Sun Knows

Every time it Rises she begins to Grow

-FCIS

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TESTIMONY/ˈtestəˌmōnē/

TESTIMONY/ˈtestəˌmōnē/

Just finished watching the visuals for Kelly’ Rowland’s song Dirty Laundry.  Even though I would have loved to see a video with fewer distractions I thought Ms. Rowland looked fabulous in each scene.  In the song Kelly airs out her past secrets of an abusive relationship and how it affected her family and close friends.  I believe that it takes a lot of courage for a person to expose their truths, especially when you’re a celebrity and living in the public eye!  But what about those of us who aren’t living in the public eye?  I often wonder if everyone knew my truths would they still look at me the same.  Growing up in the church I listened to a lot of testimonies.  Some good and some bad, but after each one I heard I looked at that person a little different.  Not in a bad way but with a different set of eyes.  You know after you’ve heard someone’s story you feel like you know more about who they really are.  As great as it is to share your struggle with others; I was also told to be careful who you share your testimony with because they may use it to hurt you.  Sad right?  You could share something so personal with someone and they could later use your story against you?  At the end of the day a person can only hurt you if you give them that power.  So don’t ever give or allow anyone to think that they have that kind of control over your life.  Your past is your past so leave it there and learn from it.  Use it to grow and remember that your story may help someone else grow too!

-FCIS

Thanks Kelly : )

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VAIN/vān/

ImageVAIN/vān/

Yesterday I Saw it
I think it Called my Name
First came the Light
Then Came the train
So I thought about My Life
And who I have Became
Once You realize your Not perfect
The Game begins to Change
You use to Break your neck
To feel some Passion
Mixed with a Little bit of pain
After you See the Flash
All the BS becomes so Vain
Yesterday I Saw it
I think it Called My Name
In that split Second
Something in Me changed
And in this Moment I was numb
Without a thought or a Clue
Realized I was saved
Before the clock Struck 2
Yesterday I Saw it
I think it called My Name

-FCIS

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CLOUDY/ˈkloudē/

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CLOUDY/ˈkloudē/

Lost dazed and Confused
Searching for an answer
Yet Running from the truth
Hoping and Praying that there is an Explanation
A perfectly Calculated Mathematic Equation
A Solution to the pain
A Pill for the Loss
A register that can Add up all the Cost
A penny for Your Thoughts
A Dollar for your Dream
Yes I think I’ve Given all of me
Lost Dazed and Confused
Searching for an Answer
Yet Running from the Truth

-FCIS

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DARE/de(ə)r/

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Photo credit: @milankcarter

DARE/de(ə)r/

When I first started blogging I had a couple of concerns. I remember having a conversation with a close friend of mine and I asked her “How can I talk about God one week and then sex the next?” Her response; “Who cares you choose what you want to write about and if other people don’t like it then they don’t have to read it.” So I realized that as people we will often kill ourselves to try to please someone else, but that’s not what this blog is about. I am not a people pleaser! I am a God pleaser and I am simply sharing my thoughts, opinions and blurry memoirs. I am not here to change the world or force a message. I am just living and I hope through my thoughts and experiences that someone somewhere takes something from it. Every day is a new entry and each encounter gives you a new outlook. That’s the Beauty of it all!

-FCIS

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UNAPOLOGETIC/\ˌən-ə-ˌpä-lə-ˈje-tik\

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UNAPOLOGETIC/\ˌən-ə-ˌpä-lə-ˈje-tik\

I’m a Dreamer
A day Dreamer if I might add
I have the Attention span of a 3 year old
I’m a great Talker
Horrible listener
If you can’t articulate a Commanding conversation within the First minute
I’ve probably Stopped paying Attention
I’m a Dreamer
A day Dreamer if I Might add
No disrespect
It’s just Who I Am
My Genetic makeup is pretty Insane
A mother and father who were Addicted to the Game
A grandfather Who I Never knew
But the stories I Hear
Deserve a book
Maybe Two
A grandmother who Taught me how to Laugh
At the most Inappropriate times : )
I’m a Manipulator
Instigator
Generator of the Mind
Never holding Back my actions
Or trying to Disguise
That I’m a Dreamer
A day Dreamer if I might Add

-FCIS

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TEST/test/

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TEST/test/

I was watching a guilty pleasure of mine which I will not share simply because I do not want to be judged on the content of television I watch!  Ha SO SUE me : )  Anyway on this particular episode a woman asked her friend how to get over hurt.  She wanted to know what the best solution was in dealing with her pain, frustration and anger.  Her friend simply replied Time!  Time heals all wounds! Letting go of the pain isn’t always easy and numbing it is only temporary.  Time helps you grow and eventually let go.  But having a great support system makes things a lot easier.  We have all been hurt before or disappointed by someone in our lives, but we go through different things for different reasons.  Just remember that everything has a Season!  Your pain and your frustration is only temporary and it too shall pass : )

-FCIS

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FALL/fôl

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FALL/fôl

Oh Lover of Love
Do You know what it Means
You Fall Deeply and Quickly to fulfill Others dreams
Some Say you Saved them
Some say You Made them
Oh Lover of Love
Are You too blind to See
That Loving You means loving Me
Choosing 1
Not 2 or 3
Not Reminiscing with Others
About a Past that Will never Be
Oh Lover of Love
You think You created It
You fall so Deeply
That you Believe Every statement
But How can you love Me
While Entertaining 2
Oh Lover of Love
Your feelings are Misused
The Path you choose
Will only Confuse you
Oh Lover of Love
Why can’t you See
That your Love has become so Cloudy
It’s Time to Clear the Air
So I can finally Breathe
Oh Lover of Love
Thank you for Releasing Me

-FCIS

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HOME/hōm

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HOME/hōm

I’ve been Looking for You
Where have you Been
Yeah I know
The weathers been Changing
But You use to Come in
Faithfully like the Wind
I’ve been Asking all the Neighbors if they’ve Seen you
Ever since the Storm Came
Things haven’t Quite Been the Same
I’ve been Looking for You
Where Have You been
I Can’t wrap my finger around
Why you haven’t come back In
You’ve gotten through Thunder, Lightening and Snow
But somehow I Can’t get You to let Go
It’s like Your Stuck in a tornado
And you’re Afraid to break Free
I just Want to See you Grow
Like a Root from a seed
I’ve Been looking for You
Where Have you been
Nothing to fear God is Here
Remember who You are
No matter how far you Stray
I’ll continue to Look for You until the End of Days
I’ve been Looking for you
Where Have you been
I’m gonna leave the Light on
to Help you Find your Way back In

-FCIS

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